I realized something today. My kids are great. I mean really great. When you are living with and parenting 3 preschoolers in your house. It can get very stressful.
I have been asking God for patience for a year now, in handling issues with my kids. I was still short tempered with them and got angry very easily. I felt like every week I was going back to God asking for more patience. When in reality I didn't need more patience I needed more Jesus.
I was in my prayer time a couple weeks ago and I decided I wanted this year to be better. I mean really better. I didn't like yelling at my kids, they are kids not mini adults. I need to parent them, not bully them. (in bullying I mean bribing them to do something, or warning I'll take this away if you do...)
I saw on a blog to pick a word for the year, and live by it. I prayed about it and the word "light" came to me.
Lighten up - have more fun
Show Christ's light to them, to everyone really
Eat lighter
Be lighter (lose my baby weight)
So in my prayers - I asked for help in showing Christ light to others, especially my kids. And it's working :)
Now I get stressed out when Anders leaves for work. He has to do it, I don't get angry like I used to, but I still get stressed. So Anders has been gone for 3 full days and I haven't yelled once at them. They still have been testing the waters but they are listening.
It also helps that some of mommy friends are going through the same thing with their kids and we decided to actively engage one another in figuring out how to not yell at them. One book that we have all read and following is the "Have a New Kid by Friday" by Dr. Leman. All of us have read it and we talk about it at small group along with our study. But the kicker is that when we are around each other we point out if/when we aren't following the principles in the book. That really helps. An example of this is my friend Robin and I took the kids to the lunch buffet at Chicago's Pizza. It was time to go and Caylin hadn't finished her pizza because she was playing around at the table with Sidney. I told Caylin it was time to go and she needed to get her jacket on and she responded back, "no mommy, I'm not done yet," and continues to eat. Now Elin was crying, loudly. I repeated myself to Caylin 2 more times. (A big NO, NO in the book). Then Robin looks at my and says - "Quit." I didn't even hear myself say it more than once. So I get Elin in her seat, Ivan and I get our jackets on and start to walk towards the door. Guess who raced to us so we wouldn't leave. No yelling at her. 6 months ago - I would have yelled because Caylin would still be sitting there eating. Now Caylin was really hungry at dinner but we then got to have a teachable moment with her. All without yelling. Love it.
I do have to put a disclaimer out there. My wonderful mother-in-law gave me this book. I was a little ticked off when she did. I wondered,"what do I have awful kids?, do you think I can't parent them?" But after I was at my wits end in handling my strong willed child who is just like her mother, yelling at her everyday. I picked up the book and read it. Wish I wouldn't have left it on the bookshelf for so long. Granted I was pregnant and a little bit hormonal at the time. But I truly appreciate her giving me that book. It has now been passed around my group of friends and impacting 4 different families.
All and all I just wanted to put out there I have great kids, family and friends!!!!
God has blessed me immensely.
